Detachment Tricks

Clarity is the reward for detachment.

Everyone gets attached. When they do then start believing that this is it and their search has ended. And then start developing good bonding with them with all patience. They get so emotionally attached with that person that they think this bond will be forever, nothing wrong in it though! But the only wrong they do is totally being depended on that one person. Thus, even a small clash happens between them they feel like broken, completely lost and most importantly very lonely. Now observe the pattern in the above said scenario! The mistake done is behaving according to what the other person is behaving. If that person is in good mood, s/he gives all her/his goodness, care and love and when got irked by you they show their hatred towards you, thus giving you sorrow! So, the trick is simple – NEVER COMPLETELY GIVE YOURSELF TO OTHERS. HAVE HEALTHY DETACHMENTS. This will help to not react nor feel sorrow. You should love others, share your emotions too but keep a part of you with you which needs you since you can’t handle yourself if broken and alone. That is what called as “Me Time”. The reason behind this at the end of the day we all are an individual having self-respect, have an identity and thus we have demands to satisfy our needs too. Once you ignore yourself completely and all the time give attention to that new person by spending most of your time with them, sharing most the things to them and analysing only with them and not with you even for once, thinking what they are doing than enjoying yourself for a while etc. that’s how get addicted to that lifestyle. You need to have your own time too. Meet those old friends and acquaintances too. Stop caring too much about everyone. Not always your responsibility to hold the hand of the person and make them walk. Help only if they ask for it or you feel its time to advice something. I see people stop doing their most important work and handling others’ situation. This type of love is dangerous, don’t you think? If our parents haven’t given the freedom to do whatever we want, how would be able to be on social media or make new friends and explore our thoughts? They love us a lot. They held in their hands for hours and fed us day and night when we were kids. But as you grow up they come to you when they see you in trouble or when you ask for help. They allow you to live a life as an individual and not just as their kids whom they own? That’s another trick! Detachment doesn’t mean your feelings somehow disappear, it means you aren’t controlled by them, and a lot of troubles can be avoided if you manage to stay calm when needed. Now, advantages of having this behaviour is that you don’t break down very easily since your actions are not dependent on others. Next thing is this strong nature of yours will help others to feel comfortable about you since they can avoid you when they are in trouble for a while and get re-connected once they overcome their troubles. They will come to you for help as you won’t shake after knowing their unexpected problem encounters. You staying in free state of mind can help them in giving better ideas. So the trick here to be noticed is – PATIENCE. Next trick is SATISFACTION! Once the person leaves, you should have a gratitude feeling called satisfaction. You should feel like, OK! They can do only this much for me and this is more than enough for me. I am satisfied with this much too. I need not be possessive now. Don’t feel sad by saying to yourself, ”Why this is happening to me?” rather say “Is this happening for me?” May be the universe is trying to teach you something which I haven’t learnt. This paves way for another trick- BEING OPTIMISTIC LEARNER! As Brain Weiss research stresses that we are all here learners and decided to take birth again because we want to learn something and in previous birth we felt we can do it. We have a theory called “rinbandhan” in Hinduism. So we are here to get used and be in useful for other. We need to complete our tasks of our karma and also do some extra karma too for our good life and higher self learning. We need blessings to pass our hurdles. So we have to keep swimming in life pool and bear the pain in this learning process. We will be fried like bonda in the hot oil and once we learn to live in the right state where nothing is affected to us- moksha! You are here on earth with a purpose thus. Next trick is knowing the facts- WE ARE HERE TO CONNECT HIGHER SELF. This means the more you surrender to the things happening around, the more you will connect to your higher self. All these sufferings and happiness are momentary. Your anger, hatred, irritation phases when over then how do you react at your past self? Don’t you laugh at your silliness in the past? Don’t you regret for being carried away in that small particular moment stupidly? That’s the point! You have to rise above the mundane world and view your situation from a higher perspective. Come out of your body and view yourself time-to-time. Like Swami Vivekananda says talk to yourself. You take out time to spend with your solitude. Every marriage is successful they had their own private time. Relatives are happy with us because we all have our space and solitude(own family). Let the light of awareness help you transform and transmute the wounds, both old and new. Things may or may not work out according to your plan because there is a bigger plan at play out there thought for you. You have to get used to and surrender to this unknown process happening without your awareness.